The forbidden way to love
by AddictedPenguin
Summary: Murao was always very quiet because she didn't have any friends and had no trust in girls. But after meeting Tanaka-Sensei at a teacher and student meeting she changed. He encouraged her to become more friendly. After talking to him more and learning little things about him, she fell deeper and deeper in love. TanakaxMurao. Based on the manga and anime so contains spoilers!
1. Chapter 1

**Chapter one of a new series I am working on- more chapters will follow, maybe I'll even release chapter two today if I'm happy about it.**

**It's a Tanaka Youichi x Murao fic and for now it's based on the manga, so it will contain spoilers! It will follow the storyline of the manga but in the later chapters it will lead its own way. This is not just about how Murao fell in love with her teacher but also how she learned to open herself and make friends. **  
**It will all just be more about Murao than Yoshioka and forgive me, I changed a few things. It will still be my own story after all. **

**I hope you'll enjoy it and please leave a review! Even just one word can brighten a writer's day!**

**Angel**

* * *

One day during her third year of middle school Murao's world suddenly changed. When she came to school one morning Nana, from her group of friends and usually surrounded by them, sat by herself. Something must have happened, but when Murao asked about the reason she got a kind of vague reasoning reply:

_"Lately, Nana just pisses me off, you know_..."

This seemed illogical to her, but on the other hand, it was none of her concern. It's not like Nana ever did anything to her and thus Murao decided that she wouldn't ostracize anyone. Nana seemed to be thankful for Murao's kind words when she explained her thoughts to her classmate, she was a little less left out now. But doing that lead to something Murao never expected to happen to herself.

The next day Nana was surrounded by their classmates again, they were cheerfully laughing and talking— until Murao entered the classroom. Their angry glares fixated on her, except for Nana; she just quickly averted her gaze and crossed her arms in front of her body as if she felt insecure, or guilty about something. Something bad. It was that exact moment that Murao realised what was going on and that her life wouldn't be the same again. _It looks like I've been betrayed..._  
Her classmates ignored her for a full day. The girls around her even moved their tables away from her and abruptly stopped what they were doing when Murao got too close. A little childish perhaps, but for third graders this kind of treatment seemed to be the ultimate punishment. Murao had never felt this alone before.

After the last bell echoed through the building Murao got called outside, for the first time that day someone actually admitted her existence.

"I heard you told Nana you think I act like a boss or something?" The girl who said that Nana pissed her off yesterday snarled at her. Well you do, Murao thought, but she didn't say it out loud. She had never said that to anyone else either, everyone knows that the girl acts like a snob, but no-one ever dares to say it, not even to each other.

"I don't right?!" She turned towards Nana who was standing behind her as if she was trying to hide behind the girl's huge ego. "N-No..." she said, a little too quickly, but no-one besides Murao seemed to notice or they just pretended that they didn't. "Right! Just so you know, Murao, I'm not going to forgive you for this!"

It became all clear for Murao. Basically, Nana couldn't care less about which one of them got frozen out. By following her sense of justice or whatever, had Murao done something wrong? She defended her friend and the next day she got stabbed in the back by that same person, but that's maybe just how all girls are. Honestly, she doesn't want to waste her time hanging out with those idiots, she doesn't need to be a part of their small, meaningless world.

_But, what does this make "me"?_

_..._

"Well..." a voice drags Murao back to the present. In front of her is sitting a teacher, wearing a shirt with a mushroom on it and a simple black vest. On the table between them lies her 'Future Plans Survey' which is, except from her filled in name and class, empty. And she only filled those in because she absolutely had to.

"although I can understand why you'd find it hard to write up university and career wishes even though you only just entered high school, but turning this in blank is still a bit..." Murao stopped listening there. Why does she have to get her guidance session from Tanaka-sensei, he's not even her homeroom teacher. He's only substituting for the original guidance counsellor due her maternity leave. A novice teacher, and still in his twenties, completely unsuitable to have a conversation about this matter with a student. Whose absurd idea was it to give him this task? _I want to go home._

"You can still change whatever you write now later, you know. Going to university for example, or finding a job." Tanaka-sensei doesn't seem to be the type to give up easily. "Well you handed this in already so it's okay for now." _Lazy_. "Could you tell me what your feelings on this topic are right now?" Murao sighs, maybe if she answers his question she might be able to go home at least. "I won't go to university and I won't find a job."

"Huh?"

"After I graduate I'm going on a journey to find myself. So please just write that."

Tanaka-sensei's smile doesn't fade, not for even the slightest moment. "So basically, you plan to run away? 'A journey to find yourself', then I take it you've already properly searched through the place you are right now?" What kind of question is that, what is he trying to achieve? Murao can't see through him and it makes her feel a little uncomfortable, long ago she came to the conclusion that everyone is the same, so why does it now feel so different with him?

"If not, then how will you find anything if you keep adding places to look? You'll just end up more lost than ever..., or that is at least what I think, personally." He confuses her, what is this about him that she can't place, and why does he keep smiling like that? Murao had ignored him the first ten minutes of their conversation, she had been looking around- anything to avoid looking at him and yet his smile remained unchanged.

"I mean, why do people go 'looking for themselves' in the first place? Then who is the person in front of me right now?" Hasn't he been listening to her? She doesn't know who she is, that's what she just tried to explain. The reason she couldn't fill in her future plans is because she first has to find out who she is. She was right after all, everyone is the same, no exceptions. They don't listen and then claim that they don't understand when asked about the matter. They play dumb, they use you and then stab you in the back. This is exactly why she doesn't need friends anymore, she's better off alone.

"You're Murao Shuuko-san, aren't you?" His expression changes, is he challenging her to answer that question? If that's so then she won't, that is not how it works for her. She doesn't need a lecture, not from a person with bed hair as if he just woke up and weird clothes with childish prints. But... she kind of likes the position of his mole.

Suddenly his eyes flicker open and meet hers, she's unable to look away this time. His reaction after surprises her, he covers his mole with his hand. "Ah, were you looking at my mole? Is it weird?" _Maybe he got bullied in the past?_

"I'm sorry, that's not... I just thought that it was kind of nice..."

Tanaka-sensei's expression changes from embarrassed to his usual smile again and he shuts his eyes. "Then, as a special service..." he leans in over the table, closer and closer to Murao's face. She has never felt this uncomfortable before and she can feel the red colour spreading over her cheeks. Then he stops and points to his eye. "Look! I have a mole in the fold of my eyelid as well! You usually can't see it 'cause my eyes are open, right?" Is that man _stupid_? He got unnecessarily close to her, and what bothers her even more is that her heart started racing all uselessly, and that all because he wanted to show her a mole? "Was there a need to close both of your eyes just to show me that?!" Unintentionally, she raised her voice.

Tanaka-sensei closes his eyes again and this time there forms a frown on his face, it looks like he is...concentrating on something. "... Actually, I can't wink_._"_ Is he pretending to be an airhead?_ "Do you always try to endear female students like this?" Tanaka-sensei jolts back on his chair, his face red like the mushroom on his shirt. "What?! What do you mean, _always_?" He leans back forwards and rubs with his hand over his nape. "Murao's the first one whom I've showed it to."

Murao abruptly shoves her chair back with a loud, clattering noise and stands up. "I'll fill this out properly and hand it in to you again later. I'm going home now." Tanaka-sensei, still a bit shocked from her sudden reaction just nods, too staggered to speak. Murao heads towards the door but stops then to look over her shoulder. She gives him such an intense gaze that it could easily have been mistaken for a glare. "Ah, and also, you shouldn't use that method to show off your mole anymore. It could lead to some awful misunderstandings." After saying that she shoves the door shut with just as much racket and force as she used to shove her chair back earlier. Tanaka-sensei chuckles softly when she's gone, using his hand to scratch the back of his head. "Such a fierce girl, I wonder if that was a threat."

The next day after school Murao heads to the Staff Room to hand her survey to Tanaka-sensei as she promised to do yesterday, filled in this time. She had spent an hour and a half thinking of what she should write down, and eventually, after thinking back of the whole conversation with her teacher; it became all clear to her. Murao already knew what she wanted the moment she left the classroom. "Tanaka-sensei."

"Ah, Murao!" The teacher looks up, he's wearing a shirt with a penguin printed on it this time and he cut his hair. Secretly, Murao misses his bed hair already, it actually looked quite good on him. This makes him appear even younger than he is, and yet...

"I filled it out, the form." She says while she hands it to him. "Ah, good, thanks." He puts his coffee mug down to take the folded paper from his student. Murao's eyes rest on the mug, 'eldest son' is written on it. It is probably his own mug, did he take that from his own house just to drink coffee? Maybe it was a present from his mother for his first day at work. When the teacher notices Murao isn't leaving he looks up again. "Have you shown anyone your mole after that?" She asks then, this question had been on her mind all day.

"Hm? Nope, I haven't?"

"You absolutely can't show anyone, okay?" She turns around with a faint smile of relief and quietly adds to it: "to anyone but me."

Tanaka-sensei takes a sip from his coffee and unfolds the format Murao gave to him.

_'Future Plans Survey_

_Name: Murao Shuuko_

_1st wish: Tanaka-sensei's wife'_

Tanaka-sensei chokes on his coffee and spits it out over his desk after reading it and seeing the huge heart drawn around his name. The other teachers look up from their work, alarmed by the strange noise. "Tanaka-sensei, what are you doing?" Murao just smiles, leaving the flushed red Tanaka-sensei behind between his disturbed but mostly worried colleagues. They are slowly getting used to the young teacher's weird habits by now, but somehow he still manages to surprise them once in a while.

'_Tanaka Shuuko',_

she thinks to herself

_doesn't sound too bad_.

* * *

Murao found herself caring more about her teacher every new day. Whenever she had a problem she turned to him, they had gotten so close that she even dared to tell him about what had happened to her in the third grade of middle school. He didn't laugh at her reasoning when she told Nana she still wanted to be friends with her before the incident. He even supported her decision and told her that she is a very nice and kind person. He didn't make fun of her for closing herself for the people around her, he showed sympathy and concern instead. In the weeks after he tried to support her with opening up to her classmates but his efforts had the reverse effect. By spending this much time with Murao she shut herself out even more, she didn't need her classmates to be her friends, she had Tanaka-sensei. He understood her better than anyone ever did.

Even though she didn't want to have anything to do with her classmates some still noticed her, Kominato Aya for example, one of the boys of their class. He seemed to notice that Murao was more cheerful than ever on some days, but when he asked about it she either pretended not to hear him or told him as politely as she could to fuck off.

She didn't have time for young boys trying to get her attention and crushing on her, because with every day that passed, she fell a little bit more in love with Tanaka-sensei.


	2. Chapter 2

**Thank you so much for your kind reviews, knowing that someone is reading this gives the motivation to update! Now I am not going to set orders like "three reviews and I'll post the next chapter" but I just want to let you all know how happy they make me! (*wipes tears away with tissues*) **

**Alright enough silliness. Again it'll be following the manga, I changed things to _my_ liking and its Murao's point of view. Short little parts about Murao's journey to friendship (oh man I sound pathetic).**

**Enjoy!**

* * *

"You know, about Futaba, right?" Murao looks up when she hears two girls enter the bathroom. "The only reason we can hang out with her like this, really, is because she so completely lacks femininity."

"Ah yeah! That might be sort of true."

"She's got a cute face, so if she was girly as well she'd probably piss me off."

Murao flushes the toilet even though she didn't use it and leaves her bathroom stall. She approaches the girls in front of the mirrors, they are so busy gossiping about others that they don't even notice that Murao's there at first. "Hey, if you're done now, could you get out of the way?"

"S-Sorry!" The girls quickly grab their makeup bags when they recognise the person in front of them and leave the bathroom. Murao exhales a sigh and washes her hands, she's aware of her 'scary' reputation among the other students, especially the female ones, but she can't bring up the effort to care about it. Those girls are even worse at high school. They are all fake, trash speaking back stabbers. They were talking about Yoshioka Futaba; Murao has seen her before, always surrounded by these two girls. If she'd only know what those 'friends' of her are saying about her behind her back. This just proves her right: girls cannot be trusted.

When she leaves the bathroom the girls are still standing there, with Yoshioka Futaba, it seems like she overheard the other girls talking about her. She's laughing and brushing it off like it means nothing to her. Is she really that desperate to be liked? Pathetic. The girls freeze when she passes them. Murao stops and turns her face to the girls to give them a well-earned glare. "You're too noisy."

While she's walking away she can hear the two girls whom she sent away earlier whisper to each other. "Murao Shuuko is kind of scary, isn't she?"

"She's really intense."

Yoshioka Futaba-san, always hanging around with those girls. She doesn't think she can understand someone who is fine with being surrounded by fake friends.

* * *

Murao places her inside shoes in her locker, today's the day of the closing ceremony and honestly, Murao is relieved. One more day in her current class and she would seriously consider not attending anymore. It's not that they did something to annoy or hurt her; she's just not that interested in spending time with people she hardly knows. They are a waste to spend her time with; she doesn't want to get to know them. She just wants to finish high school as quickly as possible and leave this place behind. Yet, she's moving slowly today, the thought of not seeing Tanaka-sensei for two weeks makes her heart ache.

"A teacher is hitting on a female student right here!"

Murao's head jolts up, together with a lot of other curious students. Tanaka-sensei is standing there with his little brother and Yoshioka-san, making apologising gestures and trying to clear up the misunderstanding while his brother drags the girl away from the scene. "Eh, that's not true! It's a misunderstanding! I really wasn't—" She feels sorry for Tanaka-sensei, having to deal with such a rude sibling, everyone knows Tanaka-sensei would never make a pass on a minor, even she is aware of that.

"Ah Murao!" Murao's heart skips a beat when she hears his voice, cheerful as ever like his brother didn't just run away from him. "I hope you didn't hear that." She smiles at him. "I did. He was quite noisy." Tanaka-sensei pouts. "Ah, that damn guy, well there's nothing I can do about it. –Ah, Murao!" Tanaka-sensei smiles again and looks around, then he suddenly places his hand on her shoulder and leans in to her. "I know you are not my student but I secretly peeked at Murao's English results and you aced it! As an English teacher that really warms my heart!" He whispers. Murao's eyes widen, he's touching her and his face is so close to her that she can almost touch his cheek with her nose. She can smell his sweet scent, he smells like shampoo and something she can't place but it makes her feel calm and comfortable. It's a smell that suits Tanaka-sensei. She can see that his lips are dry, probably because of the cold weather for this time of the year. Tanaka-sensei's closeness makes her feel a little dizzy all of the sudden, she has to grab onto something in order to prevent herself from falling. Something that turns out to be Tanaka-sensei's blazer. "Murao!" He immediately reacts and puts both of his hands on her upper arms to support her. Murao can feel her heart beat fast in her throat. Her face is pressed against Tanaka-sensei's chest and it remains there because neither of them is moving. "Murao?" He repeats, softer now. "Are you all right?" If her hands wouldn't be clenching Tanaka-sensei's clothes so tightly they'd be shaking, her legs feel like they could collapse any moment but as brave as she is she raises her head and nods. "Ah, I'm relieved, can you stand on your own?" There's something about her teacher's face that seems so different, his expression exudes concern but she also sees something more than just worry and his cheeks have a light, red colour on them. "Murao?"

"A-ah," she automatically steps back. "I think so." Her voice sounds weak, she almost doesn't recognise herself. "I am just a little tired."

"Take good care of yourself these two weeks, I wouldn't want Murao to get sick!" Even though Tanaka-sensei removed his hands a little moment ago she can still feel where he held her and she really has to refrain herself from touching the spot on her arms. "I will, Sensei, I'll rest as soon as I get home. You don't have to worry about me."  
He nods, the faint hints of a blush on her teacher's face completely disappeared and he's back on his usual unreadable smile. "I'm needed on the second floor, there are still some things I have to take care of before I can go home. I'll see you soon again!" Murao nods at him as good bye and turns back to her locker. Murao can feel the red colour on her cheeks slowly fade. Did she see it right or was she imagining his blush- if it's right what she saw then why was he blushing? When she closes her eyes she can see his face being so close to hers again, she could have been able to kiss him. She can't help but glance at him one more time as he leaves. She really, really loves him.

"Murao." Her classmate, Kominato Aya, head pops up from behind the lockers, just how long has he been standing there, did he see them? There was nothing to see, there was nothing suspicious she tries to reassure herself. She was only feeling unwell and he happened to catch her. There was nothing special ... "Are you coming for the gathering later?"

"No."

"You're skipping out on all class get-togethers. Today's the last day of the class, so at least make it for the final gathering event."

Murao looks down, he's pushing her too much again. This is one of the reasons she doesn't want to come with them. They are all expecting her to do things she doesn't want to do, get involved and then they put their noses in her business. "I don't really have a lot of good memories with this class anyway. I don't want to remember anything about my current class."

"But..." Kominato tries but Murao interrupts him before he can even start with his sentence. "It has nothing to do with you" She closes the door of her locker and turns away from him. "Well, bye then, Kominato-kun." She says before she quickly takes her leave.

It was nice of him to try, but Murao rather forgets about this year. It's not like she made any friends. She doesn't need to attend a stupid karaoke event with her classmates, she would only feel left out again. Choosing to be on your own is better than feeling left out after all.

* * *

Two weeks went by way too fast, although Murao did miss Tanaka-sensei, she can't say that she's happy to be back at school again. Murao is one of the first to arrive in her new class. The new year just started, vague familiar faces enter the classroom one by one, talking like they haven't seen each other in months and didn't meet up during in their free time at all. _Annoying_. A cute and shy looking girl chooses the table right in front of her. She's alone, just like her. The girl smiles and tries to greet her but Murao stubbornly looks away. If she thought she would be making friends by sitting in front of _her, _she has made a huge mistake.

"Yoshioka-san!" The cute girl says, even her voice sounds adorable.

Ah, it's that girl again. Yoshioka Futaba enters the classroom next, it appears that they are in the same class this year. Murao is relieved, now she doesn't have to pretend to be friendly or anything. The girl and Yoshioka-san seem to be pretty close already, it might be easier this year to avoid talking at all—

"Murao! Ah yeah!" _Oh no._ Kominato storms in with a huge grin on his face. "We're in the same class again! It's nice to see you!"

Murao looks up with a rather bored expression on her face, she really doesn't want to hold up a conversation with this guy. "Hello."

"During our first year you said you didn't want to remember anything about your class, but I won't let you say that about our class this time! I'll definitely won't allow you to!" What an obnoxious guy he is, and so hyper, does he really feel the need to raise his voice when he's merely a meter away from her?

"Say, do you want to meet up after school?" He never stops talking too.

"No."

"Then what about tomorrow?" He won't leave her alone. Just how many times does she have to explain herself to him... "I didn't say that I can't today, I just don't want to. Not now, not tomorrow and not the day after it. No means no, Kominato-kun." ...until he finally gets a clue?

"Heeh," Kominato leans over her desk. "alright, you win this round! But I'll be back with the same question tomorrow, and the day after it, heck, next week I'll still be standing here!"

"If that makes you happy."

"Un, it does! And you'll see Murao! At the end of this year you will be smiling too!"

This guy obviously doesn't know what he's talking about. At least he stopped talking and is forced to pick a table on the other side of the class, but at this rate; it's going to be a long year for her.

* * *

The next morning is not really different, but this time; Murao is prepared.

"G-Good morning Murao-san!" Yoshioka greets her. Murao puts her bag on the floor and looks up. "Morning." The least she could do is greet them. These two girls don't particularly look that bad, after all, they are outsiders too. The cute looking girl, Makita Yuuri, often got ignored during their first year because she was 'too cute'. She dragged the attention of all the guys with her cute attitude and slowly the female students started to hate her.  
The other girl, Yoshioka Futaba, was always surrounded by her friends, until they got into a huge fight at the last day of school. The rumours about Yoshioka-san were spreading fast, apparently she had said some awful things about her so-called 'friends', but that's only what Murao heard, and out of experience she can tell that you shouldn't believe everything you hear. Especially not from conniving high school girls.

Yoshioka smiles, surprised but also somewhat happy too. "Murao-sa..."

Murao shoves the earplugs from her iPod into her ears and takes her book from her bag; '_The Rowdy Gang Leader Goes on a Journey'_. Tanaka-sensei had recommended it to her last year after she told him about her plans for the future but didn't start reading in it until two weeks ago. She had no-one to spend her free time with so decided that she could at least give it a try. It's not that bad, so far. It's about a noisy and disorderly leader of a gang who is on a journey to find his purpose in life after he got out of jail. The book is exactly as dull as it sounds, but it kills the time, and it also helps her create an unapproachable aura. She is completely blocked out from the rest of the class now. She doesn't specifically mean to be rude to Yoshioka-san, but she needs to be prepared in case—

"Muraoooo!"

Kominato arrives.

"Mornin'! Whatcha readin'? Whatcha listenin' to?"

Murao turns the page even though she didn't read everything on it yet, she just want to give him the impression that she's too concentrated on her book to hear him.

"Anyway," he continues when Murao doesn't respond. "I was thinking that we are really lucky to be in the same class in our second year too!

That's right! The other day I want shopping and I saw something that reminded me of Murao!" She must admit that it's quite impressive that he can hold a conversation this long with just himself, even after a full year of getting rejected over and over again, he still didn't give up on trying to have a proper conversation with her. He hasn't succeeded yet though, not even once.

The bell rings after the fourth period, lunch break at last. In order to avoid having a small talk with Kominato-kun again she gets up and leaves the classroom as fast as she can. She hears him yell after her but she does the one thing she is extremely good at: ignore his existence and keep walking. She is aimlessly walking around for a while, waiting for the next period to start. She has to find something to do because she can't keep doing this every break. Maybe she can find a good spot in the library. Then she suddenly sees a man with a white sweater and 'Nya-Nya Brothers!' printed in pink of the back of it, with in the middle of the shirt a huge paw of a cat, so she assumes. There's only one teacher who dresses like that to school; Tanaka-sensei. Every vein in her body wants to follow him but something holds her back. Maybe she shouldn't, it's only been two weeks and she would appear as too eager if she would approach him now. But then one of the papers Tanaka-sensei is holding falls out of his hands and he doesn't seem to notice. This could be her sign; she quickens her pace to catch up with him after picking up the paper. "Sensei, you dropped your printout." She says as calmly as possible, trying her best to control her fast beating heart.

"Ah, Murao! Sorry, sorry, thanks!" Murao wonders why he's apologising and quickly lets her eyes slide over the paper so she doesn't have to look at his face. "What is this leaders induction course about?" She asks more as attempt to expand their time together than actual curiosity.

"Ah, about that course, this is meant for students who are class and events representatives. It's a training course that boosts the leadership and events management skills."

"I've never heard about this before," she looks back at the paper "there is even an overnight camp for this?"

"This is actually our first year with this course." Tanaka-sensei laughs. "The purpose is to strengthen the relationship between the class and the event representatives. When that is achieved, it becomes easier to bond the entire class together. It's easier to have a final goal and settle everything in one go, than to look into individual cases one at the time."

"Sensei is really enthusiastic about this, isn't he?"

"Naturally, it was me who came up with this after all! I'll be supporting the class and event representatives, and I'll go with them on the camp of course!"

"I see."

"But that's enough about me promoting my own project!" He takes the print out from Murao and puts it back between the rest. "How's your new class, have you made any friends yet?" Murao shrugs. "It's the second day, do you expect me to make friends this quickly? I'll need  
more time to get to know them, _if_ I'd be interested."

Tanaka-sensei tilts his head playfully to the side. "And _are_ you interested?"

"It's not really different from last year, I don't see how this is going to work. It's not like I have anything in common with my classmates."

"And did you put effort into this matter already, Murao?" Murao blushes and stares at her feet, he sees right through her- even the tone of this voice sounds like he's mocking her, but when she looks up she sees no sign of ridicule on his face. Murao's silence says enough for him and he continues. "I hope Murao isn't giving up already, it's just the second day, after all." Murao twitches, he is using her own words against her. She hates it when he does that, he is always able to push her into a corner somehow. "Ah! How about Murao tries for class representative?"

"Eh? Sensei, you can't be serious! Of all of them, I am the least cut out for that role!" Tanaka-sensei bursts out in laughter again, amused by his student's frustrated reaction. "The way I see things, Murao might be suited for that role more than she thinks! You are kind and sweet, and you have a lot of guts!"

_I'm sorry sensei, but that person you are describing is just the person I am around you, I am not that kind, nor sweet_. "I'll think about it."

"Anyhow Murao, your life as a high school student will be over sooner than you actually think it might be. So put forth all your heart to fulfil every single thing that you feel like doing right now." If he only knew what she'd like to be doing right now, he would definitely not approve her thoughts. "I'll remember that."

He smiles contently when the sound of the bell reaches his ears. "It seems our time is up for the day, I have to get back to class and you too Murao. Let me know what your decision will be! I'd be super sad if I would have to go on camp without Murao!" and with that said, he turns around and walks away, disappearing in the crowd of students.

This is what he always does; confuse her with those ambiguous remarks. He says one thing and means the other, and this time; she isn't even sure what he exactly meant to say. But even so, only the thought of being the class representative makes her quiver but the idea of indirectly spending the night with Tanaka-sensei gives her a complete different feeling. She might think twice about this matter before she makes her final decision.

* * *

"Is there anyone who would want to volunteer for the representative positions?"

Murao keeps her gaze at the school board. She had a lot of time to over think during the last periods today and she could only come to one conclusion: being a class- or event representative is not suited for her. She's not...sociable enough. She'll have to disappoint Tanaka-sensei, but there is no way she is going to volunteer for this position.

"No candidates at all? The sooner we decide on this, the earlier you can go home." The class protests and the teacher lets out a frustrated sigh again. "I'm not happier about it than you are."

The students either look around or keep their eyes on their notebooks, it seems that even though the teacher threatened them to stay longer, no-one is really interested in becoming the class representative. All the extra work they'll have to do- and then there is that camp too. They have a social life you know, and some even a part-time job! There is homework to do and studying, no way they are going to do more for school than this.

"Oh, Yoshioka. You want to do it?" The students all turn around to the girl at the back, except for Murao. "Yes sir!" Is coming from behind her. "Then in that case, the class representative for the girls will be Yoshioka!"

Yoshioka gets up from her chair and approaches the teacher to take over the call for the remaining candidates. "All right! So, I just need one more male student to take up the call rep' role! Is there anyone who would like to volunteer himself for this?"

A dead silence follows through the classroom.

"Is there anyone? There will be a lot of work to do once you're a class or events rep'...!" Murao feels a little bit of sympathy for the girl, if there's anything she shouldn't have said it is that it will going to be a lot of work. Every male student seems to avoid eye contact with her. She is the only one who sounds like she's about up about this, it must feel so embarrassing to stand there alone. Murao is glad that she is not in her position.

"Is there someone who would be willing to take this class and achieve greater things with me?!" Yoshioka's voice has a slight hint of desperation with it.

"I don't mind doing it." Mabuchi Kou, Tanaka-sensei's younger brother, speaks up. "If there are no objections then Mabuchi-kun will be the male class rep', then! Mabuchi-kun, will you please join me in handling the procedure?" While Mabuchi stands up to join Yoshioka the class applauds. Morons, they are only being this enthusiastic because they'll be able to go home sooner.

"All right! We need three more events representatives! Anyone keen to do it?" Mabuchi takes the role over from Yoshioka.

Subconsciously, Murao's thoughts wander off to what Tanaka-sensei said to her earlier today. He is doing his best for her, trying to get her involved with activities, and she has never thanked him for his efforts, let alone done something with it. But he has never given up on her, he asks how she's doing and comes with new suggestions, he gives her all the time, space and comfort she needs. But spending more time with him has caused Murao's feelings to only grow more, and instead of making friends she closed herself further from the outside world. Just to spend time with Tanana-sensei.

"Me." Makita's soft voice breaks through the silence. "I will do it."

This first day of the new year; nothing's started yet, and she hasn't started anything either. If she really wants to start something new it goes without saying that she'll need more power than usual to get things going. She watches Yoshioka and Mabuchi argue, apparently he didn't know that his brother would be leading the camp and he is showing signs of objections already. Tanaka-sensei..., he would have wanted her to come too. Now she understands what he was trying to say. He would be disappointed, not because he'll miss her presence during the camp, but because he hoped she'd take the opportunity to change something.

If she stays like this, she will never be able to change.

Murao slowly raises her hand

She finally realised that now it's absolutely necessary for her to summon up the courage and start these changes. "I will take up the role as member of the events team." Around her she can hear the surprised reactions from her classmates. "Are you sure you want to do it?" Murao nods, almost directly after the sound of a chair falling follows and Kominato's voice blares through the classroom. "Me too! I'll take the events coordinator position as well!" She was certain that this would happen, as soon as Murao volunteered Kominato, who usually already bursts with enthusiasm, would follow her example and volunteer too. But his enthusiasm could make this group of different individuals work. A particular process is needed to bond different people in a class together, and they will be the best example for it.

"All right, this will be the class- and event representatives: Yoshioka Futaba, Mabuchi Kou, Makita Yuuri, Murao Shuuko and Kominato Aya." The teacher says.

First things first; from this moment forward, with these people, Murao will start a new chapter in her life.


	3. Chapter 3

**It took longer than I expected with uploading. I'm almost finished with chapter five - I just forgot to upload it.**

**Thank you for your kind reviews! This chapter is also a lot of rewriting the manga/anime but I added some new things too.**  
**Chapter four will be up when I finally finish chapter five, but I'm really busy so that might take a while again.**

**Enjoy!**

* * *

"Hello, Futaba-chan? Where are you?"

Murao looks through the window of the bus, outside Makita is on the phone with Yoshioka. It's been merely two days since they were picked as class- and event representatives and Mabuchi and Yoshioka are already showing off the bad example, they're too late. Today they are going on camp with all the class- and event representatives. Her eye falls on Tanaka-sensei who is apologising to one of the other teachers who will also attend the trip with his students. As supervisor of the whole camp _and_ Mabuchi's older brother Tanaka-sensei must feel super responsible for their behaviour.

"Tanaka-sensei, I know it's useless to say it to you, but they've got to shape up!" Even though the teachers and Makita-san are outside all the students can hear them in the bus. To put Tanaka-sensei into this position as his little brother, he's so irresponsible. "We can't wait any longer! Have them look at the map and find the site themselves!" The angry teacher enters the bus and after him follow Tanaka-sensei and Makita too. As soon as the bus starts to ride she puts her earplugs in and leans her head against the window, just in time because Kominato, who is sitting in front of her, already turned on his seat. "I can't believe we're going on a trip together Murao! Let's have loooooots of fun together! I was so excited last night that I barely slept! But I can't believe Mabuchi and Yoshioka missed the bus! It is suuuuper irresponsible of them, especially since they are the class representatives! Now we all look bad!" Murao sighs loudly and apparently that was a sign for Makita to pick up the conversation for her. "Un, but we can make up for it, ne?"

Murao suppresses a smile, that's a nice thing of Makita-san to do. Now that Kominato's focus isn't on her anymore Murao's eyes slide over the passengers until she sees Tanaka-sensei. He sits huddled in his chair, he's worried about his students. Murao wishes that she could get up and sit next to him to comfort him, wrap an arm around him and tell him it'll be alright; just like how he would do when she is upset. Unintentionally she clenches her fists, she won't forgive Mabuchi for causing this much trouble for his older brother.

* * *

All the students are gathered in a huge hall, all wearing tracksuits in colours that are representing their year. The third years have green ones, the first years are wearing a red suit and theirs is blue. It looks awful but at least it's more comfortable to wear than a skirt for the events. After the teachers gave an introduction speech they were allowed to start with their meals. The noises of the students interacting soon fills the room, but their table is rather silent. "Hey, there they are!" Murao and Makita look up after Kominato's comment, Mabuchi and Futaba are heading into their direction with their plates. They arrived at last.

"We are really ashamed, both class representatives were late! Do you know how embarrassing it was for us?" Kominato complains after the two late comers took their places on the table. "We're really sorry." Yoshioka apologises, but Mabuchi keeps his focus on his food.

"Kou!" Murao immediately looks down with a faint blush on her cheeks. Tanaka-sensei is approaching their table. "Given the circumstances, you have to compose an apology letter for being late. You have until the extension to bring it to me, got it? You too Yoshioka." Murao looks over her shoulder. Tanaka-sensei is wearing a pink polo shirt with long sleeves and two purple stripes around the height of his chest, he looks really cute like that. "Geez, apology for what?"

"Mabuchi-kun, when you cause trouble, it makes trouble for Tanaka-sensei too. I think you should be more careful. Since you have difficulties waking up, Tanaka-sensei already thought it would be a problem, but you should at least pay more attention to him." Everyone stares at Murao, they never heard her speak this much before. Kominato might even be a little jealous that Murao's first time speaking this much was to Mabuchi.

"I don't care about him and you shouldn't worry about it. I am who I am, It doesn't have anything to do with my brother. It doesn't matter what he thinks about it." Mabuchi says nonchalantly. She abruptly puts her bowl with rice down. "So because it's none of his business he doesn't deserve your gratitude? You made someone totally unrelated to the incident apologise for you? What a kid. ...Or rather, a little rotten brat."

"M-Murao-san!" Yoshioka's voice sounds shocked but in an attempt to save herself she tries to start a conversation with her. "That reminds me! I was so surprised that you decided to participate in the event! Do you like this kind of thing?"

"Not really."

Mabuchi snickers. "It sure is rich to see someone so uncooperative lecturing others. Someone with no confidence like you wants to make a speech to other people?"

"Hey!" Kominato raises his voice. "We don't talk like that to women!"

"And with 'women' you obviously only mean Murao." Mabuchi mumbles and gets up from his chair. "I'm done."

"Me too." Murao takes her plate and leaves the table, that's enough interaction with that spoiled brat for today. They are all completely different individuals with different personalities, they don't connect in any way, there is no way they can ever pull this together. At least with participating she was able to show Tanaka-sensei that she tried. She smiles when she thinks back of Tanaka-sensei's joyful smile when she told him about her decision to become the event representative for her class, it still gives her butterflies in her stomach when she remembers his reaction.

* * *

"So, does anyone have any opinions?" Against all of their wills; after the lunch all of the class and event representatives had to gather outside for a group discussion about what this event means for them. "Murao-san?"

"No, nothing." She says without looking up from her book. She wasn't paying attention to Yoshioka's explanation, and she kind of missed the instruction from the teachers because her focus might have been on Tanaka-sensei; she didn't hear a word of what he said.

"We have to do this! We might get picked to read ours aloud!"

If they continue like this it will become a big mess but why should Murao put effort into this if they aren't doing so either? Being here is only a waste of their time, Tanaka-sensei already said that they don't have to take this seriously. Plus, what is the chance that their class gets chosen to read their answer?

* * *

"We organized this event for all grades but we need leaders from each classes to create ambiance. That's why they are so important. So about the handout we gave to you earlier you have to think about what this school event means to you. Let's start with class 3-1, read what you wrote."

One of the students in the green tracksuits gets up. "We participated in this excursion because we thought it would be a great experience for company's life, plus we will get to discover and display our own abilities individually in the non-academic aspect."

They made a good answer, especially compared to what Yoshioka wrote down in the end. Yoshioka turned the page upside down so they can't read it but Murao got a quick glance. 'Happy memories'. It's cute and a nice thought, but if they'll be picked it will never be sufficient.

"All right, thank you class 3-1. The next group is class 2-2!"

_Crap_. All five of them freeze on their seats. Mabuchi takes the paper from Yoshioka. "You wrote something earlier right? It should be enough." He says, but he immediately regrets his decision when he sees what Yoshioka wrote down.

"What's wrong? Get on with the reading." The teacher is obviously still annoyed because Mabuchi and Yoshioka were late this morning, spoken about being a professional.

"The goal is not to be in a group but to integrate it, team spirit is stronger in cases like this. Plus, being on the same wavelength allows us to show more unity. By setting targets and goals that can only be achieved by a group you foster a feeling of belonging to that group. By doing this you get everyone to share a sense of commonality and in that way, bring them together. That's all."

Murao is a little impressed, he can recite things he doesn't even believe in so smoothly off the top of his head. "Oh, that's good. So next group..."

"Hold on a minute." Tanaka-sensei raises his hand. "I don't think I understood everything. Why do you think being united is so important?" Murao can understand that he wants to trigger his brother but if Mabuchi screws this up now they will all look stupid. He saved them once, there is no way that he can pull this off again,

"Well, it's because there are things you can only achieve together. So that someday, when you look back, the people you experienced it with will see it as a 'happy memory' and think of it with the same warmth that you do."

"That's good enough." Tanaka-sensei smiles and Mabuchi is allowed to take his seat again. It seems Murao was too judgemental, he might not be such a bad person after all.

Later that night Murao is on her own wandering through the building. Yoshioka asked her to keep her company while waiting for Mabuchi to arrive, they still had to write that apology letter. As soon as he joined them Murao got up and left the table, she doesn't want to sit between those two; all they do is fight about the smallest things.

"What are you doing here this late? You should be in your room young lady." Murao's sure that her heart skipped a beat right now. "S-sensei!" his voice sounded so slow that she almost didn't recognise him. "Sorry, did I startle you? Ahh, I didn't mean to!" That's the old Tanaka-sensei again.

"It's fine Sensei," she smiles faintly. "I forgive you."

He laughs and looks around. "Is Murao here alone?"

"Un, ... Yoshioka-san and Mabuchi-kun had to write their apology letter so I left, it's something they have to do on their own after all."

"Ah, I see." He smiles. "I am happy to hear that they are working on it, and it seems that you are getting along with them?" His smile is different now, more teasingly, and he is leaning in closer to her. "I-I am trying." Again, her face feels like she is having a high fever. It's so unfair what he's doing to her, and at this point she isn't even sure if it's unintentional or not anymore.

"Keep up the good work, Murao." She can feel his hand on her head and he ruffles through it briefly. "Oyasumi."

"G-Good night to you too!" She mumbles, but by the time she finally managed to get these words over her lips he's already gone. Murao puts her hand on her chest, she can feel her fast heartbeat through her pyjamas. What is that man doing to her? One thing is certain: she can't say that she's not enjoying the little moments of special attention he gives to her. But at the same time it makes her wonder, does he do this to all the female students?

* * *

Their first task of the day is cleaning together, Murao wanted to help them, really, but the atmosphere between Mabuchi and Yoshioka was so heavy that she left her group. Whatever happened between those two last night when they were supposed to write their apology letter, she certainly doesn't want to get involved with it. When she saw Tanaka-sensei disappear behind the building with a bucket of water she saw her chance to help him. It's not like they would miss her anyway.

She quietly joins her teacher who is cleaning the windows of the old building, he doesn't object but the awkward atmosphere between them isn't any better. He is not too pleased with her company either. Usually she enjoys the moments of silence between the two of them but she isn't feeling comfortable at all. She's trying to find words- something to speak of, _anything_, but nothing comes to her mind. So they are standing there, silently cleaning together.

"I'm fine here," his voice finally breaks through the silence. Murao gets the feeling that he has been struggling with his words too. "this place is taken care of. Murao you should clean with the others." It's not a suggestion, she knows what Tanaka-sensei is trying to say. From his reflection in the window she can tell that he's looking at her, and she doesn't like the way he does it. His eyes beneath the cloth that's wrapped around his head show no emotion, she has never seen him this serious before. "There are plenty of people there, I will help you out here."

'Murao," he stops and turns his body into her direction this time to have a proper look at her, but she is not looking up. She's too scared to see his expression. "you have to join the others." Murao wishes that he wouldn't have said anything, they were fine before. At least, that's what she is telling herself, but deep inside her heart she knows that's not true. He wanted to say this from the beginning, he was just thinking about a way to phrase it. She wonders how many different scenarios went through his head before he finally said something. "If you want to say you're fine by yourself, at least do it after you've put in effort to make a place where you belong."

"I am making that effort." Murao holds her teacher's sleeve before he can say anything. "I am not letting go."

"Murao," his voice is softer now, but his expression is unreadable. "I'm a teacher. As long as you're a student, I'll never be that far away." Murao looks at her feet, she is begging him not to finish that sentence inside, but she remains silent. There is nothing she can do to make this heavy feeling in her stomach stop. "But we can't get any closer than this either. That's what I've always said, remember?" She clenches the fabric tighter in her hand, like she could ever forget that. It feels like her heart is shattered, again.

"Murao!" she freezes, he has never heard him raise his voice before and _crap_, she hates how sexy it makes him sound. With doing this he only made Murao fall deeper in love with him. "Go and join the others." Murao lets go and quickly rushes away from him with tears burning behind her eyes. Why can't he understand how much she loves him?

She sees something move from the corner of her eye. It's Makita-san. Murao freezes on the spot. What is she doing here- was she spying on them? What did she see, how much does she know? A strong feeling of fear is taking over Murao's body. "Um..." She doesn't want to hear it, before Makita can say anything Murao starts walking again. She has to get out of here. This is way too embarrassing...

Behind the building Tanaka-sensei is still cleaning the same window. As soon as Murao left he let out a relieved sigh. What he did was right, he tries to convince himself, he definitely made the right choice.

* * *

"Orienteering! They told those of us from class 2-2 to get started!" Yoshioka yells. After they were done cleaning they had another communal lunch and a moment of rest. After what happened between her and Tanaka-sensei she had quietly joined their group again and hadn't said a word since. Makita-san joined not much later and to Murao's relief she didn't say anything either. The only ones excited for this event are Yoshioka and Kominato, who is even singing a song about it. Murao just hopes that during the activity she can distract herself enough to stop thinking about that rather embarrassing moment. While she is here maybe she can work a _little _on getting to know these people around her, she'll be spending more time with them every day after all. Maybe one day she will become the person Tanaka-sensei is hoping for her to be.

"Ha! Reached the first check point!"

"We're doing a mixed juice guessing game." That voice, the last person she wanted to see right now. She tried so hard not to think about him and yet, there he is again. "There are ten ingredients in all. For each one you identify you get one point!" He smiles at her but she quickly averts her gaze and tires to hide between the rest of the group. How can he smile so casually after what happened between the two of them merely two hours ago? The group is busy discussing the ingredients and Murao just watches them, she doesn't really have to participate in this activity. Suddenly Yoshioka turns around. "Murao-san, that's not fair! Figure it out with us!" She offers her a glass. Murao looks at the green substance inside of it, it doesn't really look appetising.

"Of course, it's only full of things that are safe to drink, right?" Yoshioka asks to which Tanaka-sensei heartily laughs. "Of course, I made it myself!" Murao's eyes widen, he made this himself? She can't help but feel curious now- maybe she should try to participate, it's a group activity after all. And if Sensei made it..., it tastes awful. She can taste the apple, bananas, and celery, the ingredients that her classmates mentioned earlier, but she can also taste something else. It's a specific taste and it feels familiar on her tongue— "Thyme." She says.

"What? You want a time-out?"

"No," Murao closes her eyes- she is trying her best to not fall out to Yoshioka. Not in front of him. "there's thyme in it. It's a herb."

"Amazing! You're the first team that's guessed celery and thyme!" The teacher next to Tanaka-sensei excitingly claps her hands together.

"You have the highest score yet!" Tanaka-sensei smiles and Murao feels like that if her teacher would be able to wink he would at her now. Murao quickly puts her glass back on the plate when she feels Yoshioka's hand on her shoulder. "Great job, Murao-san!"

Murao says nothing but she can't suppress a little smile. She won't tell them she guessed this because Tanaka-sensei once told her that he likes to add thyme when he's cooking. He made something for her once and that's how she recognised the taste. But somehow she feels happy, she was able to help out her team somehow and now they have the highest score. Maybe this day isn't that bad.

* * *

Murao regrets thinking that around the end of the day. They have been following Kominato's directions all afternoon while Futaba ran after them, insisting they should take a look at the map. They collected all the keywords they needed to complete the activity and all they had to do was find the biggest lake in the area. They had all their points, and they timing was really great, they had a serious chance of winning and secretly; even Murao was feeling excited about it. She was having so much fun with them. But after a while they lost track of their location and they were randomly walking around. They left their smart phones with the teachers so they can't use their GPS systems either. Kominato wasn't too worried though, he said that in a terrain like this they just had to look at the shape of the mountains, the location of the sun and it would work out from there. They were impressed, Kominato sounded so certain and full of himself that they blindly followed him, again. But knowing him, they should have known better. Now, the sun is setting and they are exhausted and absolutely, hopelessly, lost.

"What, are you saying that this is my fault?" Kominato looks at Mabuchi who is sitting on the trunk of a fallen tree. They boys are arguing and Murao just shuts herself from the conversation, if they start fighting now they'll never make it back to the building. She looks at Makita-san and the girl smiles at her. During their endless walk to nowhere Murao got the opportunity to speak with her alone. Makita-san had seen almost everything but fortunately for her she hadn't told Yoshioka yet and she wouldn't without Murao's permission. She did mention that Futaba is a good person and it probably wouldn't matter much if she'd know, but Murao rather wants to keep it a secret. Even though Yoshioka seems like someone others would trust; Murao doesn't. Murao likes Yoshioka and she is convinced that she's not a bad person, but the less people who know the better. Besides, Yoshioka is close with Tanaka-sensei's brother; if he finds out she might as well just quit high school already, and she won't give up on that, not after how hard she worked for it to build up what she has now.

Kominato calmed down and the five of them are bending over the map, they will have to come with a plan eventually. They are discussing whether they should stay where they are or continue walking when Yoshioka mentions that she can hear water streaming. Mabuchi holds the map. "If the finish line is on the other side of the river the way out should be in that direction too. Let's just get as far as we can while the sun's out. When it gets totally dark we'll do what Makita suggested and stay wherever we are. How does that sound?"

They continue to walk and it's getting darker and darker around them. It didn't take that long to reach the river but the river itself was quite an obstacle. Makita didn't dare to cross it and got stuck on one of the rocks they used to cross the river with. Eventually after a heroic save from Mabuchi, Makita too could continue. Unfortunately after crossing that same river Yoshioka hurt her foot and they had to slow down the pace, but Mabuchi made her hop on his back and they could continue their journey. Slowly but surely, they would get there, the only problem is that it's almost too dark to see where they are going.

"I see light!" Kominato suddenly yells. Yes, it's true, there between the bushes they can see a faint light appear. They start to walk faster and the light is getting closer and closer. "Thank god!" Makita sighs out of relief when they learn that the light comes from a light pole and they reached the main road. "Now we only have to follow the road and we're good to go!" Kominato cheers.

"But which direction should we take?"

Everyone is a little down after Murao's remark, but they realise she's right. They have no idea where they are now and in which direction the camp is. "I knew it was too good to be true." Yoshioka sighs.

"Kouuu!"

They look up, could it be? Yes, they can clearly see it now. Three flashlights appear from the other side of the road. "It's Tanaka-sensei and the other teachers!" Yoshioka screeches. "They came looking for us!" Tanaka-sensei waves at them with a broad smile on his face, he is probably happy that he found his brother and the rest of the students, the other two teachers look less pleased with them.

They've been walking for a while when suddenly Tanaka-sensei appears next to her. "We were really worried, I'm so relieved that we found you." Although she's happy that Tanaka-sensei is walking next to her and talking to her, she wonders why he is telling her this. Is he trying to break the ice or is there a message behind it, was he actually worried about her? She can't help but test his intentions. "You must be happy that you found your brother, I know you care a lot about him."

"Hmhm," he laughs softly. "if 'my brother' is a metaphor for that I was worried about Murao, then yes, I am glad that I found my little brother."

"I see." Murao blushes and keeps her eyes on the road. It seems that sensei has forgiven her for her behaviour earlier today, but she still feels guilty. It might be super painful to face, but she has to apologise. "Sensei I—"

"No, I am sorry." He looks down at her with a little smile. What, sensei is apologising to her, _again_? It doesn't make sense to her, but she must admit that she feels a little better. "I shouldn't have raised my voice at Murao like that. Can you forgive me?"

Murao nods quietly, too shy to even look up at her teacher. They are walking side by side, both silent but it feels like one of their usual silences again, silences she enjoys the most. Suddenly, she feels something brushing over her hand— Tanaka-sensei's hand. It was just a short moment but she's sure that she felt it, that tingling sensation is currently spreading through her whole body. She looks up in surprise and sees that Tanaka-sensei looked away from her. It could be the lack of light, it could be her mind messing with her because that strange feeling still didn't fade, or it could be she's just exhausted but she could swear that she saw a faint blush on Tanaka-sensei's cheeks. Just like the blush he had on the day of the closing ceremony. Whatever it was- it makes Murao happier than she ever felt before.

They stop in front of the entrance of the building. "Murao-san, are you coming?" Yoshioka asks her. Makita joins them and pulls her friend on her arm. "Let's go inside Futaba-chan, Murao-san will follow us later!" She smiles at Murao and drags the confused Yoshioka inside.

"Sensei? Uh... thank you. For finding us and ...everything."

"It's nothing, Murao." Murao can see from the way he smiles that he understood what she actually meant, it makes her fill with a silly feeling of glee. He understands her without her having to explain herself. The moment after feels a little like an awkward date- not like Murao ever experienced one of those before, but she saw it in one of those romantic comedies she secretly loves to watch. The point where the boy brings home the girl after spending the evening together and they aren't sure whether they should kiss or not. Somehow, Murao has this feeling right now. She looks up at her teacher, who is awkwardly rubbing over his arm. "So...uhm, good night Murao. Make sure to rest well, we're leaving early in the morning." She giggles, sensei is always so worried about her. She doesn't know what exactly gives her the courage but she tiptoes to quickly kiss her teacher on the cheek. "Good night, Tanaka-sensei." She whispers softly and hurries inside. No, today wasn't a bad day at all.

* * *

Outside, Youichi is still standing frozen on the same spot even though Murao already left. He puts his hand on his cheek, the spot where she kissed him feels hot beneath his fingers. Her lips felt so warm and soft against his cold skin, and it was just for a moment, but the thought of how it would feel to have those soft lips touch his cross his mind and gives him a mixed feeling of guilt with pleasure.

"Tanaka-sensei, we're turning off the lights, get inside!"

"I'm coming!" He replies and inhales the cold air to clear his mind. "Seriously, that girl could get me in big trouble some day." But he's smiling. Tanaka Youichi is smiling, because even though she could get him in trouble, he is not sure if he'd really mind.

* * *

When Murao wakes up the first thing she sees is Yoshioka bending over her and Makita, she's wearing Mabuchi's sweater over her pyjamas and even though it's still dark outside she looks quite awake. "Yuuri, Murao-san, wake up!" She whispers.

Shortly after they're all outside. Murao has never seen this many stars before, it's a beautiful sight. She shoves her hands deep in the pockets of her jacket, it's cold outside. "Ehh, Murao, are you cold? Come here, I'll warm you up!" Kominato grins. Instead of snarling at him Murao shakes her head with a smile. "No, I'm fine." Murao ignores the surprised expressions her classmates are giving her and gazes up at the sky again. Today is a start again, a start of something new. She realises that being an event representative isn't enough to make the change, _she _has to do it.

"Ah, it's coming! It's coming!" Kominato leans over the balustrade. She sun is slowly rising and gives a nice, warm feeling on their faces. "It's here!"

"The night has ended." Murao says softly. "Today begins now." Her new life is starting, again, still with these same people. People she might dare to refer to as friends, sooner or later. They all take a deep breath; the smell of the wet earth and dewy grass fills their noses, the scent of a morning in May. She'll never forget watching the sunrise with everyone like this.

"So that someday, when you look back, the people you experienced it with will see it as a 'happy memory' with the same warmth that you do." Kominato smiles and looks over his shoulder at Mabuchi and Yoshioka. "I liked that thing you said. Feels like 'being young'."

"Embarrassing fellow..." Mabuchi mumbles.

"You shy about that kind of thing?" Kominato asks mockingly. "People should save the stoic act for when they get all old!" He yells to the sky.

"I don't think you'll ever change, even when you do grow old."

Murao can hear the people around her laugh and she can't help but smile after hearing Mabuchi's words. Even Kominato knows there's truth in that. And while the sun continues to rise, their feeling of friendship grows stronger and stronger.


	4. Chapter 4

**Hello, I'm back with another chapter! I'm so sorry it took so long, I had a lot of stuff going on and got a little demotivated.  
****The main reason I picked it up again is because I read chapter 48 yesterday and I got so pissed at Tanaka-sensei that I just had to get back to my story.  
**  
**The first part will be retelling the story again, I'm sorry if it's slightly boring but I am enjoying writing it and getting to know Murao's thoughts (even though I'm the writer) is very interesting.**

**I did add something completely new and even had to rewrite the original story, I'm sorry for that (not).**

**Please enjoy and I'd love to hear your opinions about it! :3**

* * *

"Murao-saan!" Makita's voice comes from behind her. "Are you coming with us? The donuts at the station are 100 yen today!"

Murao holds her mug with hot chocolate milk tightly in her hands, even if it's too warm outside to order hot choco Murao will never refrain from ordering her favourite drink. Makita is holding a CD in her hands, Mabuchi gave it to her and she's extremely excited about it. Murao smiles a little, at the beginning of the year she could never have imagined that she would be sitting here with two girls from her class in a place called 'Nuts Donuts'. She still finds it difficult to interact them and sometimes she finds it hard to figure out their intentions. Her first reaction when Makita-san asked her to come with them was 'why', did she really expect an explanation, was she truly thinking that Makita-san would ask her so she could abandon her later? Maybe it was just a reaction coming from her natural instinct, but that Murao is in the past. That's why she agreed to going with them, she didn't have anything else to do either way.

Her eye falls on Yoshioka, Makita is too busy talking about Mabuchi to notice but Murao can see that she's struggling with something. She is nervously playing with her fingers and she's avoiding eye contact with the both of them. Just when Murao found the courage to ask Yoshioka what's going on with her she speaks for the first time since they arrived.

"I like Kou too." A silence follows between the three of them, so that's what she was struggling with. "I'm sorry, I like the same person as you." Yoshioka has her eyes on the table, hands clenched tightly together and she's probably on the edge of tears too.

"F-Futaba-chan you...too?" Against both of their expectations; Makita-san seems to be enthusiastic rather than mad at Yoshioka. "Kyaa~ well no wonder, Mabuchi-kun is great after all!"

"Are you two sure that there isn't something wrong with your eyes?" She remarks dryly.

"Eh? What part of him don't you like?"

"The part that he's a damn brat." _And he hurts Tanaka-sensei._ Murao takes a sip from her drink. Both of the girls get into a discussion about what they love so much about Mabuchi but Murao refrains from taking a part in that. Going with them was already a huge step in the good direction for her but talking about Mabuchi in her free time isn't something she is interested in. She already finds it hard to image that anyone would like a brat like him in a romantic way, or any way. His looks might resemble Tanaka-sensei's a lot, she can't deny that he's quite good looking, but his attitude is one of the worst she has ever seen. Not only is he lazy, rude and irresponsible he also doesn't seem to care about his brother who does so much for him. No, Murao simply can't stand his behaviour. She quickly takes a sip again to hide her smile from the other two girls, so this is what girls with friends usually do in their free time. Murao has never done this before with anyone, she was a little nervous before but that feeling fades little by little every minute she is spending with Makita and Yoshioka. She was worried that she wouldn't have anything in common with them and wouldn't know what to talk about- but secretly, she kind of likes this, whatever it is supposed to be.

Makita leaves to make use of the restroom and that leaves the two of them alone. Murao looks up at the girl in front of her. Yoshioka seems relieved and less nervous than before. A huge weight must have been lifted off her shoulders. Liking the same person as her friend probably bothered her. Murao wonders how that feels like.

"Ah, that was scary!" Yoshioka lets out a deep sigh. "I knew I had to tell her but it was so hard to do it. I finally managed to tell her."

Murao feels sympathy for her, for the first time she feels sympathy for a girl. Yoshioka is very brave. Could Murao be this brave, will she ever have to face a wall like this? She softly shakes her head, she is already facing a huge wall right now and she hasn't done anything to break that one down yet. There is still standing something big between her friendship with Yoshioka, and she should change that today.

When Makita returns they both notice her red eyes but they refrain from mentioning it. So this was hard for Makita-san too. Beneath that cheerful smile and happy eyes there was apparently a huge feeling of sadness, a feeling Murao failed to notice. Yoshioka made quite a sacrifice by telling Makita how she feels, if it wouldn't have been Makita then she could have lost a friend. This was a risk she was willing to take for the sake of their friendship. Yoshioka trusts Makita enough to talk about matters like this in front of her and it makes her wonder if she dares to do the same thing. Would Murao really dare to share her feelings about Tanaka-sensei with Yoshioka? Makita already found out, she could try it. She said that Yoshioka is a trustworthy person after all. Murao could always try it, she has already come this far and she learned today how important honesty is among friends. She will take the risk too. Maybe, if they would know who she likes, it wouldn't be that bad.

"I...like Tanaka-sensei."

"What?!" Yoshioka is so loud that Murao fears that everyone is looking at them right now. "I mean, what's this all of the sudden?" She continues on a regular tone. Murao finds it difficult to hold the same amount of confidence she had when she admitted this, she feels insecure about her decision to inform Yoshioka all of the sudden. "Hm, Yuuri, you don't look very surprised. Did you already know?"

Murao can't help but feel relieved that the attention is on Makita instead now, but it would be unfair to put her in the position that she has to excuse herself for something Murao is responsible for. Besides, she came this far already, she should finish it now too.

"She just happened to find out, I didn't actually want anyone to know." She defends Makita. "I thought she might tell you too, but she kept quiet about it." She smiles a little. "Makita-san is a good person, isn't she. You know that too, which is why you did your best to tell her something that was really hard to say. Looking at the two of you, I kind found myself thinking that I wouldn't really mind if you knew who I like, that's why I told you!" Murao's face colours red from excitement, she rarely speaks this much but somehow she can't hold herself from doing it. The words she held back all these years, all the things she wanted to say but she had no-one to share it with, but now... now she has two friends. "The truth is, this is the first time since entering high school that I've stopped by somewhere with someone on the way home." Yes, they're allowed to know. They are allowed to know everything about her. Her feelings for Tanaka-sensei was her biggest secret and she couldn't speak about it with anyone, just now she realises how good it feels to finally say those words out loud, to say anything out loud. There is finally someone to listen to her.

"Well," Murao holds her red mug in her hand and raises it to her lips. "it's Mabuchi who'll be making the decision in the end. You two snarling at each other won't affect anything. And who knows, he might reject both of you!" Murao is having fun, she is having fun for the first time in years again. "but even if things go better for one of you, I'll always remain neutral, so go for it, both of you."

"M-Murao-san! Thank you! We'll do our best!" Murao doesn't really understand it yet but if feels nice, hanging out with Yoshioka and Makita. "But seriously, you two really do have an awful taste."

By the time they are heading home it's dark already, she almost can't believe they sat there for almost three hours just talking. Murao feels so different, it's like when she realised her feelings for Tanaka-sensei. She gets overwhelmed by a familiar sad feeling when she enters her dark and empty house, of course, no-one is home. Murao has been living alone since the first year of high school. But she feels a little less lonely when she thinks back about today. Yoshioka and Makita, they can talk together, laugh together and Murao is certain that if she ever has a problem; she can rely on them, her new, first real friends.

* * *

Weeks come and weeks go and Murao gets closer to them each day. They sit together during their lunch break, sometimes they go out together shopping, they study together and they even went to Mabuchi's house to get him motivated to study too. Mabuchi was slacking off and Murao just happened to overhear a conversation between him and Tanaka-sensei about his dropping grades. It wouldn't have been her first choice to barge into Mabuchi's personal space to get him to study for his exams but Kominato insisted. Though; it might have been her who curiously asked when the next time would be that they'd study together. During those weeks Murao finally understands what they mean with the expression 'time flies when you're having fun', because it certainly does.

And so their days pass quickly; they go to school and study together in the library or outside when the weather allows them too. Murao is enjoying every day a little more, she even grows more acceptable of Mabuchi and Kominato's company. And now the more time she spends with her friends, the less time she thinks about Tanaka-sensei. It's not until the last day before their summer break that Murao realises that it's been two weeks that they had a normal conversation together. The last time was when Tanaka-sensei happily informed her about how Mabuchi started having dinner with him and his father more often, he complimented her that it's because of their hard work that Mabuchi is changing so much, and he's not the only one who is changing in a positive way, he had added with a meaningful smile.

"Okay, I hope you'll have a nice summer without accidents, then now, you're dismissed!" an in unison cheer sounds through the classroom, together with chairs shoving and happy chatter among the students. They all passed their exams, the five of them even made it to the board, this was a first time for all of them except Mabuchi who used to be in the advantage class. Kominato was pissed though; they were the ones who tutored him but Mabuchi got the highest grades amongst all of them.

"Oh no! Kou's gone already!" She hears Yoshioka huff. "He's probably still hanging around somewhere, let's catch him!" She suggests. Yoshioka and Makita rush out of the classroom after that. Murao lifts her bag over her shoulder and slowly leaves the room after them, she's sure they'll catch him- she doesn't feel the need to run after Mabuchi. It's their battle after all, not hers. But when she leaves the classroom she sees that Makita and Yoshioka are waiting for her. "Shuuuko! Shuu-chaaan!" They yell, "come with us!" She shakes her head with a smile. "I'll leave Mabuchi's capture to you two."

"Okay! We'll wait for you by the entrance!" Murao watches them leave, they're so lively. Only a few months ago she told Kominato that she didn't want to remember anything about her previous class. She was a lone wolf and she was perfectly fine like that. And fine she might have been, but definitely not happy. Not as happy as she is now.

"Shuuuuko, Shuu-chan!" Murao looks up, Tanaka-sensei is approaching her from the stairs, repeating Yoshioka and Makita's last words. "It's the first time I've heard someone call you by your first name." He smiles and leans his arm on the railing. "I'm thrilled."

Murao ducks her head down quickly to avoid her teacher's eyes. "I might have found a place where I fit in," She pauses and more out of nervosity than that it was actually necessary she brushes a hair lock behind her ear. "but my feelings for you haven't changed. You might be thinking that you're about to get rid of something annoying, but that won't happen."

She looks up, something she shouldn't have done she thinks at first, but she definitely wouldn't have wanted to miss Tanaka-sensei's smile. "I've never thought of you as annoying, though." His smile is so gentle and his voice is soft, like a purr. It makes Murao's heart throb. Not just his voice but everything together, his meaningful smile, his soft eyes, his hair that has grown again and looks like the bed hair he had when they first met, the way he said that last sentence and the content of his words. "A good summer vacation to you." She replies quickly and rushes down the stairs. She got careless and wasn't prepared for a reaction like that...not fair. He caught her by surprise, _again_.

Youichi watches his student leave, that sounded more like a new year's greeting, but he knows that she means well. He must have overwhelmed her a little. "If you lead her on with that suggestive behaviour and you let Murao get ideas in her head that will end up making her feel hurt I will seriously not let it go. I'll make you pay for it." Kominato glares at the young teacher and wants to follow Murao, but Tanaka-sensei's voice stops him. "I see, so if it ends up in a way that she doesn't get hurt, you'd be fine with it?" Kominato is frozen on the stairs, did he hear that right? Tanaka-sensei raises his file with papers as a gesture of goodbye. "A happy summer vacation to you too."

_He pisses me off!_ Kominato marches through the hall. He likes Kou but he really can't stand his brother, that's why he didn't really like Kou at first either. Tanaka-sensei appears to be innocent with his strange clothes and cute acts but in reality he is an underhanded grown up who knows _exactly_ what he's doing, and that what he is doing is wrong. He huffs, not going to hurt Murao- _hell,_ he'll personally make sure that he won't! If he only reaches out to her with one finger he's a dead man, that's a promise!

Youichi shuts his eyes as he walks away. He meant what he said and he certainly likes to tease his student but _maybe_ he went a little too far this time. Kominato seemed deadly serious about his words. He might have to be a little more careful next time. He smiles; being even slyer and more secretive with his comments than he already is hmm? His relationship with the both of them is getting more and more tensive by the day.

* * *

Murao tosses a top with colourful flowers printed on it on her bed it's been a week since their summer break started and this is the first activity they are going to do together as a group. Murao feels a little nervous. At least they decided to not wear a Yukata. When Futaba asked if they should wear one to the festival Murao had brushed it off by saying that it's too much trouble putting it on but that was only an excuse. Murao wouldn't feel comfortable wearing one and if Yoshioka and Makita would be wearing one she would feel rather out of place. That's something she wants to prevent because she is just starting to feel like she is fitting in. Murao hears her phone vibrate, that's probably Yoshioka calling her. She can feel her cheeks heat up with excitement; maybe she needs clothing advice for this afternoon.

"Hello?"

"Ah, I am calling to tell you that I'll be later!" That voice, that is definitely not Futaba calling for advice. "You can go ahead, I'll meet up with you guys there!" but this doesn't make her feel less excited.

"Sensei...?"

There follows a silence on the other end of the line. "Murao?" Her heart skips a beat, it _is_ Tanaka-sensei! "Ah damn! I'm so sorry, I must have called you instead! You see, we're going to watch the fireworks together tonight but the weather is so hot that I fell asleep on the couch! I completely overslept and I still have to shower but we are supposed to meet in fifteen minutes!" Tanaka-sensei rattles, probably embarrassed by his mistake. Murao sits on her bed and twirls one of her dark hair locks around her finger. "Does Sensei have a date?"

She can hear him chuckle and unintentionally she imagines his face. "No, I'll be going with a couple of old friends I met during my student years. And Murao, is she coming tonight?" Tanaka-sensei suddenly sounds a lot calmer, but it makes her feels even more nervous than she already was. She nods but she quickly realises that she won't be able to get away with that this time, they're on the phone. "I am."

"A date?"

"No," she looks at her own reflection in the mirror; is he simply interested or is there another reason why he wants to know if Murao has a date? "with Futaba, Yuuri, Kominato-kun and Mabuchi-kun."

"Ah, I see!" There it is, she can hear the relief in his voice, she's certain of it. "Maybe I'll see you tonight, Murao!"

"Hmhm," she doesn't want him to hang up yet, she wants their conversation to last a little longer. Hearing his voice feels so good, she wants to hear him speak more, can she expand their time together? Ah- that's it, the obvious question, it won't come off as strange if she'd ask this. "why does Sensei have my phone number?"

Tanaka-sensei remains silent for a moment and it makes her worry, was that too much- did she scare him off? "You see," he stars slowly. "when you went missing during the camp I felt really responsible, it was me who pushed you into participating after all. We have a list with all the student's phone numbers, of course I never intended to call you, but I felt safer knowing that if Murao goes missing again I can try to reach you at least."

"I see..." Murao averts her eyes from the mirror, her face is completely red. "I'm sorry Murao, should I delete it? It's an infringement of your privacy after all."

"No!" That was too eager, way to go Murao, if she didn't scare her teacher already then she definitely did now. "No... I feel safe too knowing Tanaka-sensei has my phone number." She smiles, she saved it. "I have your number too now, so if I ever am lost or in trouble, I can call you. I-If you're allowing me to, that's it!" She quickly adds the last sentence too it.

"I'd like that, please call me if there's something going on with you, I'll be your emergency contact. ... But Murao?" She shuts her eyes, she knows what's coming now. Tanaka-sensei is using his serious voice again. One he only uses when he thinks it is necessary . "only in case of an emergency."

"Yes Sensei, I understand." The excitement she felt before vanishes. "Shouldn't you be getting ready by now? You'll be really late at this rate."

"You're right, ah I'm a horrible friend." He sounds cheerful again, just like always, like nothing just happened. "Have fun Murao, and maybe we'll run into each other later today!" Those are his last words before he ends the call.

Murao puts her phone next to her and lets herself fall on the bed. He did it again. He first makes her think she's special, she manages to create an opening but he closes it as soon as he can. He always makes sure to remain the same distance and makes her feel bad for even trying to get closer to him. Then she feels a sudden rage coming up inside of her, but he is the one who searched specifically for his student's phone number and added it to his contact list! Even if he never intended to call her; it wasn't Murao who made the first move this time! No, not even only this time. He gives her those vague hints, every time Murao thinks she should close the door between them he puts the door on ajar, just a little, but far open enough for Murao to see the light and get new hope that he actually does like her back. Her phone vibrates again. This time she checks the caller id before she picks up the phone. It's Yoshioka. Murao smiles again; maybe this time it's the call she was actually hoping for.

* * *

Murao takes a sip of the drink Kominato got for her. Earlier she was the first one to arrive at the place they were supposed to meet, for a girl who was always used to being on her own she felt seriously anxious. Wondering whether they would show up or not. When Futaba arrived she felt silly for thinking that they would let her down. They are not the same as them. She can hear Futaba sigh next to her. Apparently she and Yuuri decided to get serious this summer about their feelings for Mabuchi and Yuuri might have gotten herself an advantage today. Futaba called Murao about what she should wear to impress Mabuchi, but not something too extending. Futaba looks cute in her top with shorts but she can't compete with Yuuri's Yukata. She decided to wear one after all. Murao wonders if Futaba regrets not wearing one. Murao doesn't regret it; a Yukata doesn't fit her personality, but she's still relieved that Futaba isn't wearing one. Mabuchi did compliment Yuuri against her expectations, she thought that someone as blunt as Mabuchi would never notice something like clothes. Eventually it seemed to her that the compliment was actually meant for Yuuri's hair and not her traditional clothes. In Murao's opinion are Futaba's clothes more attractive to Mabuchi than Yuuri's choice. Mabuchi is a plain guy, he'd prefer something simple for his girlfriend too. But still, Yuuri got herself a nice spot next to Mabuchi while Futaba is stuck between her and Kominato.

"Ah," They all look up. In front of them is standing a guy with reddish hair and a hat. He's approaching them for Futaba. "can we talk for a moment in private?"

Murao watches them leave together after Futaba agrees. Before their exams started they were studying in the library and Futaba's clumsiness caused her to accidently touch that guy's crotch. They ran into each other a few more times but Futaba and the boy never spoke about it, or they never had the chance to.

Suddenly above them sounds a loud crackling noise and the sky fills with beautiful, bright colours. "It's starting!" Kominato proceeds to sit closer to her now that Yoshioka left. "It's beautiful." She sighs. It has been years since the last time she went to the summer festival. Her older sister used to take her but at some point she got too told to escort her younger sister to see the fireworks. Murao understand that now, it's more fun to go with your friends instead of your six years younger sister. After her sister stopped going with her and she lost all her friends she never went to the festival again.

Murao is secretly disappointed that Yoshioka isn't there to see the fireworks with them, and it seems Mabuchi went after them, but it's not making the moment less special nor the fireworks less beautiful. She's happy that at least Kominato and Yuuri are there to watch with her.

A group with slightly tipsy men passes them, and Murao wouldn't have paid attention to them if she didn't recognise Tanaka-sensei's laugh. The group contains about too much people for her to be certain that she saw Tanaka-sensei, but she's sure that she heard his voice. She wouldn't mistake him for someone else, while Yuuri and Kominato are still enjoying the fireworks she quietly gets up from the bench and follows the group of friends. You would say that it shouldn't be so hard to follow a whole group of people but after a few minutes Murao completely lost track of them, at some point they split up and Murao couldn't tell with which group her teacher went.

She is about to turn around and give up when she bumps into someone. Someone, as cliché as it might sound, who turned out to be Tanaka-sensei. How does this keep happening to them? "Ah, gomen, gomen! I wasn't looking where I was going and— Murao? Haa~ what a coincidence!"

"Hello."

He giggles softly, his cheeks have a red colour over them. "We're not at school, you don't have to be so formal! Is Murao alone?" He leans in to her with a sly smile. "or was she looking out for me?"

"N-No!" She stammers, since when is he so straightforward? "That's not—" His laughter interrupts her and she decides that she doesn't really have to finish that sentence. "Hmm, but I was looking for Murao though! I hoped to see you in a Yukata."

There it is, the moment of regret Futaba must have felt when she saw Yuuri all dressed up. "It wouldn't suit me, sensei should know that by now." She mumbles, a little embarrassed.

"Murao looks very cute like this too, I've never seen her in anything else than her school uniform!" Murao looks at her teacher's clothes, today he's wearing a navy blue bermuda and a dark purplish shirt with a light blue tie printed on it. Typical Tanaka-sensei. "Sensei doesn't really look any different." She chuckles.

"I suppose." He laughs with her and rubs with his hand over his nape. "Un, did Murao enjoy the fireworks?"

Murao nods, she doesn't feel the need to inform her teacher about that two of her friends were missing the special moment she wanted to share together. It was beautiful nonetheless.

"It's so pretty," he sighs dreamily. "I wish I could have seen them together with Murao. I love how they light up everyone's faces with their bright colours. I would have wanted to see Murao's face light up too as she watches them." He brushes a hair lock out of Murao's face and suddenly he's close. They are in a crowd filled with people but it feels like it's just the two of them. His eyes switch between hers and her lips. She can feel his soft breath on her skin. A strong feeling of desire takes her over and in an impulse she closes her eyes and leans in to her teacher. But then there is nothing. No touch of his lips against her like she expected. When she opens her eyes again she sees that Tanaka-sensei is frozen on his place.

"Youichi? Youichi!" A male voice is calling for him. Somehow hearing Tanaka-sensei's first name makes a pleasant shudder go through her body. Tanaka-sensei let's go of her. His face wears a confused expression and he's not smiling— is expression has something as if he just remembered he left the stove on at home. "I'm sorry, I have to go. They can't find us like this." There it is, a faint smile, but it's a smile. He wants to turn around but before he actually does so he kisses Murao's forehead. "Enjoy your night." He whispers before he disappears in the crowd.

* * *

Kominato is sitting next to Yoshioka, the other three went to get food a while ago and they still haven't returned. "Straaaange huh, that they're taking so long!" He moans while rubbing over his stomach. "I'm starving here! Oi, what do you think they're doing?" He looks at the girl next to him. "E-eh?" Yoshioka replies, unnecessarily nervous to him. "I don't know, maybe something happened?"

"Haa, that could be! You know what, I'll just call them! If they're taking this long the food must be getting cold too!" Not long after he pressed the call button Kou picks up his phone. "What? I can't hear you over the noise!" Kou shouts into his ear. "Where are you?" Kominato yells right back at him. "On our way back, Yuuri got hurt!"

"Really? Is Murao alright?!"

"Murao?" Mabuchi replies. "What are you saying? She's not with us!"

Kominato widens his eyes. "She's not?! But she's not here either!" He can hear his friend sigh on the other side of the line. "You have a crush on her and you still manage to lose her."

"Shut up!" He yells with fire red cheeks. "I'll send Yoshioka in your direction to help, I'll look for Murao!" He ends the call and after giving Yoshioka instructions he rapidly leaves. Murao could be in trouble too! With that thought running through his mind he starts to run faster, he has to find Murao.

He makes his way through the crowd, past all kinds of stalls, between mothers and their children. He can hear them complain and occasionally he'd yell that he's sorry but his concern only lies with Murao; a girl like her all alone, just what could happen to her? She could get lost, maybe she's hurt...maybe...!

"Lucky!" He cheers to himself, he expected to be looking for her for some time but it's been less than ten minutes and he has already found her! He might have lost her once today but he'd never mistake to recognise his crush! But...who's that man with her? She seems to be having fun, more fun than with her friends; is that why she left them? He's walking slower now, slowly approaching the couple. The man's hand is on her cheek and he's leaning in closer to her— what?! They're about to kiss! He read enough shoujo manga to know when a kiss is about to happen! Does Murao have a boyfriend and he had no idea? She never told him about that guy, how dare he kiss Murao! He looks suuuper old too!

Dark and messy hair, rather strange choice of clothes, not very tall for his age, super old. Is that—?!

"Youichi? Youichi!"

Kominato is awestruck and frozen on his place. If that is indeed Kou's older brother, then what on earth does he think he's doing?!

* * *

Murao is still standing on the same place; people occasionally bump into her and yell at her that she shouldn't stand still in the middle of their walking path but she doesn't notice them. The only thing she hears is the fast beating of her heart. This time it wasn't her imagination, Tanaka-sensei tried to kiss her. He apologised but that was rather for having to leave than almost kiss her. He left, but before he did he kissed her forehead. _Her forehead_. His lips are still burning on her skin, and what he said "they can't find them like this", what was he intending to do?

"Murao," The sudden voice draws her back. She's a little startled when she looks up, the voice is coming from her classmate. Kominato is standing next to her and holds her elbow with his hand. "Let's go home." He says with a strange hint of determination in his voice.

The always talkative Kominato is walking quietly next to her; it makes her feel anxious. He showed up shortly after Tanaka-sensei wanted to kiss her— did he see them? Murao wonders if she should say something, explain that it was a misunderstanding or should she just not mention it at all? Maybe she should pretend that nothing happen, because again, nothing did, but Kominato must sense that something is definitely going on. In spite of what she usually thinks of him, he is not stupid.

"It's really dark," he breaks the long and especially uncomfortable silence between them. "should I walk you home?"

"No, it's not that far from here on. I'll be fine alone." The atmosphere is too awkward between them, she wants to be alone and think about this. She really doesn't need Kominato's company right now. "Thank you for coming after me, I'll see you soon!"

She can hear him call after her but she refuses to turn around; she doesn't want to listen to him. First she has to clear her head about Tanaka-sensei. He saves her number, accidently calls her, tells her not to contact him and then compliments her and above that all he almost kisses her at the festival. She wonders if Tanaka-sensei doesn't know what he wants either, or is he honestly this oblivious? If it's the former and he really doesn't, then he shouldn't confuse her like this.

What happened between them; that must have been the summer air.

* * *

A couple of days later she meets up with Futaba and Yuuri at their usual booth in the doughnut shop. They started coming here more often with the three of them and occasionally Kominato and Mabuchi would join them. They will join them too today, but the girls met up earlier to discuss the latest things between the three of them. Murao is happy that they're getting all closer to each other. She can't remember the last time she spent the summer with someone; it was before the incident, that's certain. Nowadays it's rare for her to spend her day alone, and even if she's not with her friends they still have contact via their phones.

Murao enjoys their time together the fullest, so this is what girls usually do in their free time. It's just like in the movies. Friends who meet up and talk about boys, and that's mainly what they do, especially talking about Mabuchi.

Futaba and Yuuri are chatting about another summer festival Futaba and Mabuchi were meant to go to, but something came between it and Mabuchi had to cancel. She can tell that Futaba feels guilty for not including Yuuri in this activity. She tilts her head and sucks on her straw. Isn't that the eventual goal of this competition, to plan individual dates in order to capture Mabuchi's heart? She can understand her new friend's way of thinking but when she thinks about how it would be for her; she wouldn't like to share Tanaka-sensei.

"Ah, but you don't have to worry about including me anymore!" Yuuri gives the both of them a bright smile. "Because I already confessed!" Yuuri's eyes dart down before she looks up at her friends again. "I got rejected though." She says with the most confident voice she ever heard from her.

The girls didn't see this one coming, so Yuuri already told Mabuchi about her feelings for him. Yuuri must be so strong, she thinks, the girl is still smiling as usual even though her love got denied. Without giving it much thought she raises her hand and strokes over Yuuri's short hair out of compassion for her. "S-Shuu-chan?" She giggles and Murao realises it's a little out of character for her do. All three of them laugh. Yuuri and Futaba are both very brave. Futaba told them about what had happened between her and Mabuchi when he walked her home and Yuuri opened her heart and told them about her rejection. They are so honest and sharing their feelings, should Murao too...? She does feel the need to talk about what happened between her and Tanaka-sensei the other day, what would they think? Maybe they'd be able to give her advice, but maybe, what if someone would overhear it and Tanaka-sensei would get in trouble? Or worse, they turn their backs to her someday and they'll tell their new friends everything about her secret.

Murao shakes her head. No, she mustn't think like that. Yuuri and Futaba would not betray her, they are her real friends now.

"It's Kominato!"

Murao raises her head, she's too late; Kominato is heading into their direction. He's looking good today, a simple shirt with a black logo on it, headphones around his neck and his hair is messy. That must be because of the hot weather. When their eyes connect she quickly ducks her head down again. Since what happened during the summer festival, things have been a little weird between the two of them. Kominato greets her like usual and takes a seat next to her. Maybe she has been worrying about it far too much, he doesn't seem to act like something is wrong. Murao must have been the only one who felt like that. She's relieved, she didn't want to have a confrontation between them about that night.. Now they can't both leave it behind, even though Murao is relieved she also feels something of regret. She actually wanted the girls to know about that evening but she doesn't want to bring it up now Kominato is here. Maybe she has better luck next time.

* * *

**Thank you so much for reading! Chapter five is ready and I might upload it within a few weeks, I first want to start with chapter six and I have another few exams coming up plus my internship days go on too and I've gotten less time to write there!**

**Maybe Tanaka-sensei is a little OC, my apologies for that.  
****Also, I am usually not fond of using "?!" nor "!" but Kominato somehow needs it, we all know how expressive he is.**

**See you all next time! **


	5. Chapter 5

**That took rather long, didn't it? I'm so sorry!**

**I made a mistake somewhere while writing so it didn't work out anymore and I got a little demotivated (for uhm...ten months? I was still at my internship I remember).**

**Either way, I am planning to continue again since there's not enough love for this couple around here!**  
**I've figured out how to continue now and started with chapter six. (But, sorry to disappoint, midterms are coming up! Don't expect it soon, but I assume most of you have already given up on this story anyway).**  
**Spoken of that; thank you so much that you guys kept reviewing and tried to motivate me to continue! I hope you're still there and might even leave a review again! It really helps me to get back to writing this story! (I got lots of unfinished fics out there I am writing too haha).**

**Enough author's notes here, please enjoy!**

* * *

The summer break may have ended but the temperature outside isn't decreasing yet, therefore the girls decided to have their lunch outside. Murao closes her eyes and leans back on the wooden bench from the picnic table, enjoying the warmth of the sun on her face. Yuuri and Futaba are talking about their favourite subject again: Mabuchi Kou.

Yuuri is a little upset that Futaba seems to be holding back, even though they talk a lot about Mabuchi, it still seems to be difficult for Yuuri. She got rejected after all. She wonders how she'd feel if Tanaka-sensei would actually reject her. Yes, he always reminds her that they can't be more than teacher and student but that's just rational thinking of him. Murao never heard what's in Tanaka-sensei's heart. He never spoke of his true feelings towards her and that's why she refuses to believe that he has turned her down, until she hears his feelings out loud nothing has been decided yet.

"Talking about Mabuchi-kun isn't just for your sake, Futaba-chan. It's for my sake as well." Murao looks at her friend; is this the face of a heartbroken girl? "When I talk about Mabuchi-kun with you I get to have that feeling that I have a 'big heart', and it makes me feel good about myself. It's pretty hard of course, but please let me look good as well, okay?"

Murao can see Yuuri's pain on her face, even though she's smiling. She can hear the pain in her voice when she is talking about Mabuchi. She admires the short girl, she's so brave and strong. Suddenly she feels a strong desire to hold her, and after a brief moment of hesitation she does. She reaches her arms out and wraps them around Yuuri. She feels warm and soft this close, she smells like a sweet perfume, something with flowers. The scent suits her. "Ah, Shuu-chan?" Yuuri is surprised, but soon after Futaba too holds her in a tight embrace. "Me too, me too!"

This feels nice, being in an embrace with her two best friends. Murao has never done something like this before. She always saw friends hugging each other and she couldn't understand why they'd do that, but now she does. She understands this feeling of affection they have for each other and sometimes you want to show them something that goes further than just words of comfort. At moments like this someone could really use a hug.

"It's like... I can never understand what Kou is thinking." Futaba sighs. "what about Tanaka-sensei?" The girls look at Murao. She still hasn't told them about what happened between her and Tanaka-sensei. It's just the three of them and they still have time, this could be her chance. She wants to share her feelings with her friends too. If she understands what they are going through, they will understand her too. "He's the same, even though he won't take me seriously in that way, he acts sly sometimes."

"Sly?'

"Un, the day we went to the summer festival he called me." Yuuri and Futaba jolt up. "Eh?! Sensei called you?"

Murao nods. "By accident, he didn't mean to. But he saved my number after what happened at the camp. That's not all though," unconsciously, Murao started playing with her hair again. It's a habit Tanaka-sensei quickly noticed, but she can't help it. Whenever she is telling a story she can feel other people's eyes on her and the nerves cause her to toy with her hair. When she remembers that she quickly lets go and rests both of her hands on her lap. "We ran into each other later that night, when Futaba and Yuuri were with Mabuchi-kun. He was a little tipsy and I think... I think he was trying to kiss me."

"What? Why didn't you tell us this before!" The girls are attentively listening to what their friend has to say. This is something no-one would like to miss.

"At least, I think he did. He had his hand on my cheek and he was so close." Murao can feel her face heathen up again when she thinks back about what happened that night. They did it quite some times over in her dreams; and they didn't always get interrupted. "And then?" Futaba asks curiously, maybe a little impatient even. Neither of them can wait to hear about what happened between their friend and teacher. "What happened then?"

"Then nothing," Murao sighs. "one of his friends called for him. He did kiss my forehead and he gave me a kind of confusing look, but that's all that happened."

"Have you asked him about what he meant yet?" Murao shakes her head. "No, but I don't have to ask him, it is always the same answer. He'll say that it was a mistake, that I should forget that it happened and that we will never be more than just a student and a teacher."

"I'm sorry Shuu-chan." Yuuri rubs over her shoulder. Murao smiles, she feels glad that she entrusted them with this. Sharing her feelings and thoughts about Tanaka-sensei feel like a huge relief. She's not the only one who thinks that his actions are sly, that it's strange for a teacher to save his student's cell phone number, that he shouldn't mislead her with vague, contradicting actions. "The only one easy to understand seems to be Kominato-kun, huh" Futaba exhales a deep sigh.

"No," Murao says. "even Kominato-kun has never told me that he likes me to my face. With the way he acts, I have no way of telling how serious he actually is. Basically boys are surprisingly complicated, I guess?"

To this the girls heavily protest but they end up laughing and talking like they always do until their next period starts and they have to head back to their classes for the day.

* * *

"Welcome ... home... master!"

Today is the day of the culture festival and their class has a gender reversed butler and maid cafe. It won over the planetarium and the game centre. While the girls are walking around in neat, specially made butler clothes, the boys are wearing maid dresses.

"Kominato, you should wear leggings." Kou remarks dryly.

"No way!" Kominato, who was just practicing his greeting again for their upcoming guests tugs on the hem of his dress. "I shaved my leg hair and it's super smooth, so it's fine!"

"It's disgusting."

Kominato childishly puffs his cheeks. The decoration of the classroom looks well done, their class worked to get this result. It's almost a real cafe. He lets his eyes slide over the room to find Murao between the other students. "Murao looks really cool, doesn't she?"

Across the classroom is Murao practicing with holding a tray full of drinks. She never served tables before and holding a have tray is more difficult than she thought, and these clothes aren't that easy to move in either. She's wearing a white shirt with a vest and blazer over it and a tie. She has her hair in a tight ponytail so it's not in the way while she's working. They look like real butlers and maids. Maybe the maids look a little less like real maids, but the guys are trying their bests.

More students come in rather than leave, their reversed butler and maid cafe is a huge success. They're running from table to table, repeating their embarrassing lines, but Murao is having the time of her life.

"Murao looks really handsome in a suit!"

She abruptly turns around. "T-Tanaka-sensei!" She's looking up at the taller man with his green hoodie, at the first sight it looks rather plain for Tanaka-sensei's doing, but if you look closer you can see the little, yellow bells attached to his sleeve on the height of his shoulder, and on the hood there's a bigger bell. He kind of reminds her of a cat. "What are you doing here?"

"Out of curiosity, I'm visiting all the classes, although mainly because I'd like to show _too-san_ a picture of Kou in a maids dress!" Tanaka-sensei's voice is cheerful as usual, but it has a sly undertone in it, and in this case it's not about her but his little brother. Maybe he's more aware of his actions with her than she thought at first. Murao chuckles softly. "That's kind of mean, sensei."

"Mean?" He chuckles along with her and shrugs his shoulders. "Maybe, but that's what I'm his older brother for!" Murao quirks a brow. "I don't think that's what being a sibling is about, Sensei."

"Oh no?" He playfully tilts his head to the side. "then what does Murao think it is about?"

His light, brown eyes are almost piercing through her and it makes her uncomfortably nervous. "Murao! We need more glasses, could you get some from the first floor?"

"Duty is calling." She says quickly, she's relieved she doesn't have to face him anymore. She wants to be with him, but when he's actually around all she can think of is how she can escape from his gaze. He smiles at her, but when she turns around he calls her back. "It's true that I enjoy seeing my little brother in a dress," He says jokingly before he leans in closer to her ear. "but I would have preferred seeing Murao wearing one!"

"S-Sensei!" Murao takes a step back with a red face and a fast beating heart. She's not sure if he's either flirting with her or honestly trying to seduce her but her common sense says _leave _and that's exactly what she's going to do. He's aware of what he's doing, he must be. If he would have thought of it as innocent he would have said it out loud, for everyone to hear. She's certain now; Tanaka-sensei is not that oblivious as he appears to be.

* * *

Youichi watches the girl leave the classroom after getting her instructions. He might have crossed the line a little. Murao is a sensitive girl and he has been confusing her for quite some time now, but he can't help it. Her reactions are so cute, but after what happened the day of the festival he told himself to keep his distance for a while. He made two enormous mistakes on the same day and he can't afford another one. He can't imagine what would happen if anyone would have seen that. He's risking too much, he's risking her school life, as long as they are teacher and student they should not get this close. It's dangerous.

The teacher looks around if he sees his brother; he is busy serving for their restaurant. Now might not be the time to interrupt, he'll get another chance to speak with him. Youichi leaves the classroom to see what the other classes have done with theirs, but so far he likes the creative idea of his brother's class the most. He's wandering through the corridor, deep in thoughts about Murao. He is not too childish to admit that he is the cause of the previous mistakes, he took a risk when he added her number to his contacts after the camp but he did it with a reason. At least, that's what he has been telling himself, deep down he even doubts his own intentions sometimes.

Because he had not been paying much attention to his surroundings a student bumps in to him and the noise of the bells from his vest bring him back to reality. He apologises to the girl, and then his eyes fall on a figure outside, it's Murao. She is having trouble carrying the box with glasses one of her classmates just asked her to get. It may be a reversed maid cafe but it's unfair to let a girl struggle with such a heavy task. Then Tanaka-sensei realises he hasn't been playing fair either. He put Kominato on a huge disadvantage because of his actions. It's time to fix his mistakes and put them on the same level again. Kominato too deserves a fair chance to win Murao's heart.

He finds his student in front of their classroom with a sign in his hands. "Oh, good timing!" He says cheerfully, as if he wasn't just looking for him. "Murao seems to be carrying something heavy below, so you should go and help her."

Kominato's expression changes the instant he sees the English teacher approach him. "Why are you making me go?" He says surly. "Is it really fine to do that, aren't we rivals?"

"Rivals?" Youichi laughs cordially. "To be rivals, shouldn't the people be at the same level to extend? As it is now, I won't lose anything to you." Even though he's smiling, Tanaka-sensei is sneaky as always, and he's sure that Kominato gets the message.

The boy dressed as a maid twitches. What he thought just got confirmed, it was Tanaka-sensei that night with Murao. So that means... that means his teacher as a huge advantage on him right now! He has to catch up with him again!

"M-My... my..." He stumbles over his words. "My skin is more supple than yours, old man!" He yells at him as he rushes away. Yeah, that's right! When Tanaka-sensei is old and wrinkled Murao is still a young lady, he can't let an old pervert like him get to her heart first!

First? He might have captivated Murao's heart already. He proceeds to run even faster. If that's so, then he might not be the first one to capture her heart, but he'll take it back from him for sure!

* * *

"Crap, it's really heavy." Murao puts the box with glasses down, she's been carrying it around for ten minutes already but she's not getting it up. Her classmates must wonder where she is right now, is she letting them down?

"Hand it over." Says a familiar voice. "I'll carry it. You can hold that instead." He gives her the sign with the promotion for their class he had been holding all this time. Murao, a little startled because he surprised her nods and follows her classmate. "You should ask a guy for help with something like this."

_"Calling yourself a guy in that outfit" _she thinks but doesn't say it, not after how kind he has been. "Everyone seemed really busy and I was available." She pauses, she's not sure how to put it. She has been avoiding Kominato all this time and suddenly talking to him again feels rather awkward. "Thanks. You really understood."

Kominato doesn't react, at least not right away. He stops and averts his gaze to the ground. "Tanaka-sensei told me to go and help you."

"T-Tanaka-sensei did?" _Crap_, her voice cracked just now and got higher when she said his name. She loudly clears her throat right after to cover for it. "Uh...somehow...my throat." She coughs softly but she understands how silly this must look.

"I know already."

Murao's heart skips a beat. "What?"

"That the person I like has someone she likes. I know, that's what I'm saying."

Murao can feel the panic taking over her body. Is her secret out? Are her feelings for Tanaka-sensei this obvious, is this why he asked Kominato to help her out? They're making a plan to make her get over her teacher? Moreover, unintentionally, from Kominato's mouth, it's the first time she ever heard him say the word like. This is the first time he ever admitted that he likes her. "I think that Kominato-kun is a good guy."

"Wait That's not it!" He quickly interrupts her. "It wasn't a confession just now. Don't misunderstand, okay?" Murao is confused, she is aware of his feelings for a long time now, more importantly, everyone knows, so why is he denying it now? Is every guy out to play with her heart and give her vague hints without actually acting to it?

"The me right now," he continues a lot softer. "I know it's no good, so I don't want to rush and confess and have it all end. That's not what this is. That's why I am going to show you more great things from now on. Please wait a little bit."

An advance notice of a confession, that's new to her. Actually, Kominato and Tanaka-sensei are exactly the same. "Kominato-kun's sneaky."

"But I'm not a bad guy." He smiles at her and she can feel that he means it. "Then, I'll go first." He nods at the box in his hands and heads towards their classroom. For the first time she can see the real Kominato, he has definitely changed, but in a good way. Before he could only hint at her that he might have feelings for her but today he finally admitted it to her face. Kominato is not as bad as she first thought he was last year.

When Kominato finally reached their floor he lets the heavy package fall right next to his best friend, who immediately flinches and mutters something about that he has to be careful. He only hears half of what Kou is saying, when he looks him in the eye he gets reminded of Tanaka-sensei again, why do his best friend and his rival have to look alike this much? "Also, didn't you go off to do advertising? Where's the sign?"

"Kou," He says while he stands up again, straightening his back to appear taller. "I'm going to try harder so you should try harder too, okay?" He _definitely _won't lose to Tanaka-sensei.

* * *

**Aaah this chapter was short! I've gotten used to writing over 10k fanfiction so this one seems so unfinished to me...**

**But it's a bridge to the next chapter, and I thought I'd reward you guys with at least something! If you read the manga then you'll know what event is about to come! (THE BEST CHAPTER OF THE WHOLE FREAKING MANGA ALRIGHT!)**

**Please leave a review because it'd make my day c:**

**Angel **


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